The Two Tragedies
by Chalcedon
Summary: Requited love is overrated. Mild M/P in execution, not desire.


Title: The Two Tragedies Author: Red Light District  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: I can't write a happy ending to save my life, and I wrote this while listening to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (Smashing Pumpkins).  
  
Summary: Requited love is overrated.  
  
these are thoughts  
  
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. ~Bernard Shaw  
  
  
  
There was dancing, laughter, good food, and better ale. Yes, the ale was especially good tonight. Merry sighed into his mug. It really is a lovely wedding...  
  
We've been friends forever. When did my feelings change? Maybe they were always like this... I don't know anymore. He's my cousin and a male. Does that make me sick and perverted? Is there something wrong with me? I have a good life. I have a lovely girl that cares about me. I thought I was happy with my life. I thought I was happy with her. I'd done such a good job of hiding it. He never even knew until That day.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
I sat at my desk reviewing accounts. As the future Master of Buckland I had responsibilities, but learning the business was a tiresome task. So it was with great relief that I heard a knock at my door. Thankful for a break I rushed to the door and eagerly asked a beaming Pippin inside.  
  
As he walked in, I struggled with my thoughts he looks all flushed and happy and just a little sweaty...is that what he'd look like after- No. I can't think like that.  
  
"What brings you here, Pip?"  
  
"I have news Merry!" he burst out excitedly. "Really."  
  
"Yes! You know Diamond and I have been courting."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Well, I've talked to her parents and then her, and...oh... We're getting married!"  
  
I sat there stunned and a little hurt. After all he hadn't said anything to me about this until now. Married. My Pip. But he was never really mine...Oh Pippin...  
  
"Congratulations Pip!" I said as cheerfully as I could. "This calls for a drink!" I grinned at him and busied myself in the kitchen.  
  
That afternoon is hazy and seemed to pass by in a blur. I only remember one still moment after too much to drink, after we'd run out of things to say I stared at him. The way he smiled and how his green eyes lit up. The way he seemed to draw the light to him turning his hair into a halo. He was so beautiful, and I wanted to remember him like this. He'd been lost in thought as I studied him, but suddenly he looked up and our eyes locked together. Blue and green crashed, and I was lost in him. It might have been seconds or hours, but finally he looked away and I could breathe again. I couldn't stop staring.  
  
Then he whispered, "Oh my Merry..."  
  
My mouth dropped open slightly and I blanched. He knew. Maybe in the time that I'd been lost in him my eyes had told him everything. I didn't know how he knew or how I knew that he did, but instantly the understanding was there and it hurt. It hurt because I knew that he loved me and that he'd never break his engagement. So instead of saying anything I leaned across the table and kissed him. At first he sat there, shocked, but when he kissed me back... It was beautiful. Just like him. After I broke away, I looked at him and saw tears standing in his eyes.  
  
"You know I can't," he said in a choked voice.  
  
"I know. I can't either."  
  
At my words he visibly stopped to compose himself. When he spoke again it was to ask, "You'll be there won't you?"  
  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I said softly.  
  
He got up then and walked to the door carefully. When he turned around abruptly I thought he'd fall over. As he leaned on the door to steady himself his eyes caught mine. "I just wanted you to know that I always have."  
  
He left quickly and I was left to stare at my door. I sat there unmoving until nightfall. Several times I almost broke down, but I contained myself. I would shed no more tears.  
  
I love you too Pippin.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Gradually, I became away of my surroundings as I heard my name called.  
  
"Merry!"  
  
Looking around I saw Estella and walked to her feeling guilty for leaving her so long. Her eyes lit up when she saw me just like Him... I smiled at her from behind my perfected facade as I endured her good-natured scolding.  
  
"I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been?"  
  
"Around," I say off-handedly.  
  
She lifted a brow at my answer but smiled slightly. "Well, I've got you now." she said and started to lead me towards the dancing couples. "Strange that Pippin didn't ask you to stand with him...oh well. It was still a lovely wedding wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it was."  
  
  
  
--- Author's notes: The story didn't quite turn out how I wanted. In fact, one of my favorite lines was cut out due to the direction it took. Bad fic wandering off on your own! Lol. Anyway, it is in need of revision. I was entirely too redundant and I don't think I conveyed the emotions effectively. Plus, I have problems writing descriptions... *sigh* Please feel free to make suggestions! Constructive criticism is my friend! 


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